Jessie J - Do It Like A Dude

Game. Set. Match.

As usual, iLose.

How do iAlways get myself into this kinda situations?

iAm so tired of this. Like really truly.

Maybe iShould have called this blog, "DIARY OF A ROMANCE DRIVEN IDIOT." Yeah ...That would have been cool except, well... iAlways knew he wasn't the romantic type.

To you i'm probably rambling since iHavn't explained the sitch yet. Well, lets just say. Hendrixx picked two cards. Mine n Tee's. He kept Tee's card in his back pocket and flushed mine down the toilet like a bag of shit.

If you don't get it. Thats your problem cause Kay's in a bitching mood.

Moving on.

Am iBothered about this sudden discovery?? Not really.

Does it hurt like shit?? Probably, yeah.

So now i'm laying in bed thinking about him. Why'd iForce myself to like him?? Why am iSo obsessed with him??

Funny thing is, iFoolishly convinced myself that this was all just a game. iCan be a fucking moron sometimes. iMean what was iThinking. iGuess iWas just bored.

Alrighty then. iSay fuck it. No problem here. iCan deal with it, like iAlways do. But the show isn't over yet. We just playing commercials. I'm just gonna sit in the backstage and watch how this plays out.

Am iUnbelievably Awesome or what? :-)

Do you know the funniest part? He doesn't even know whats going on. Ignorant pussy.

So why i'm iDisturbing myself you ask. Well iThink it would make me pretty heartless if iDont react. Ok, fine. *Rolling eyeballs*. Truth is iFelt like blogging. XD

* Just because iMade a reference to me being sad doesn't mean i'm gonna show it. I'm the type that hates expressing my emotions in person. So if you walk up to me and ask me how iFeel. I'm just gonna deny it on every count.

Its 3:39 and this is Kay saying Goodnight.

Hasta la vista Dudes and Dudettes.

Its Lujo Baby!!

Omg! When last did iSee this guy step... He's really good though. Mad talent here.

And He was only free-styling. True story.

He could have worn something better though....

Oh well... Enjoy.

What Manner Of Fuckery is this??

Trick question.

If you knew you were gonna die tomorrow. How would you spend your last day on earth.

Ok, i'm sorry. iHave nothing interesting to blog about today. But thou shall not ignore thy blogual instincts. So you’re gonna read the corny punchlines, and you’re going to like them.

The show must go on!

Back to Blogging.

iReally don’t need a love-life this year. I’ve had enough for a lifetime thank you very much. So now i"m completely over the last guy. Moved on to greener pastures.

Now that thats settled.

Theres this guy. Lets call him Hendrixx.

Hendrixx is the kinda guy that just speaks his mind and doesn’t seem to give 2 fxcks. Best part ...He's not bad looking either. So my short-running infatuation with this Super Awesome fellow shouldn't surprise you. ;)

But get this.

Tee also likes Hendrixx.

On a normal circumstance. iWould be like, "What manner of fuckery is this?" But the truth is, i'm not slightly bothered. We're completely cool with it. It's not like we like him that much anyways. Besides she's got a guy already. Its just a phase we're both going through. It'll be over before you know it.

Hopefully.

So for now. I'm just gonna sit and enjoy the movie, starring Hendrixx.

But Gad! He's blunt. Well indirectly. But the funny thing is, you always figure out who he's referring to. His curses go deep though. Deep and hard. XD

Sometimes iWonder, "does he hate me?" But then why would he hate me? He doesn't even know me. Which is sad really. Cause he doesnt seem like he wants to.

Well iThink I'm pretty damn fantastic. So you can just suck my dick.

Why did iJust say that. Maybe its cause iReally have a dick ;). Wait, *checking*. Ok iDont. Hahaha. Wasn't very funny, was it?

Maybe he's gay. Cause what kinda guy doesnt get attracted to my awesomeness.

Either way. I'm unhappy.

Maybe its cause the guys iActually like dont give me the kind of attention iWant. Or cause my mum just made me spend the money iWas saving up for something extremely important ...on something iDidn't even want.

Or ... Maybe its cause my little cuz has got more boobs than iHAve. ...That could be it... Don't get me wrong, Kay is not jealous. It just frustrates me to know, mines taking forever to grow. iAm pretty confident but iStill have my moments.Thats just me.

Crap. The rambling has begun... Guess its time for Kay to say goodbye.

à la prochaine. xx

Morning Rush

Kay's a little stirred up at the moment.

iHad the most totally fuckable dream this morning. And its left me all glittery inside and a whole lotta confused. And Kay doesn't like being confused.

Would tell you about it but it wasn't exactly an epic one. And you'd probably end up going back to bed after the third word so i'm not gonna risk it.

Lets just say, i've never actually felt this way before. No, its not love. Something really close though. More like a deep longing desire.

This insanely boring yet effective dream just kicked the one about me being the leader of the justice league off my number one spot. What?! Everyone's had a dream like that. Common, who doesn't wanna have superpowers and join the justice league. Like seriously. And just cause iWas too badAss, they made me the leader. Oh yeah.

How did iGet from confused to badAss. Wow Kay.

AnyHOO

It just made me realize iStill like him. And i'm not sure i'm cool with that.

You're probably thinking, "What's the big deal you bitching slut?!" [or maybe you we'rent thinking that] And you'd be right. It's not a big deal. But get this... I. Haven't Seen. Him. In. Years.

I'd give you time to understand what that statement implies.

Have you got it?

Good.

It's strange. Maybe it's cause the feelings are way stronger now. And iBarely even communicate with him.

iGuess i've been tryna suppress the feeling for a long time now and this ludicrous dream just reminded me about it.

Hopefully i'd be over it real soon... Cant be dreaming bout stuff that cant happen.

*Btw,  iHave no problem with imagining stuff. iStill dream about my prince charming. Pfff. Like that'll ever happen. iJust dont like when it gets to my heart. iDont like that at all.

Caramel kisses.

Muah! 

Stop Pollution… Prevent Global Warming.

Kay’s back!And she's back with a whole new brain.  iKnow you missed me.

So iRead a book about global warming. Deep stuff. iKnow you're gonna be like you dont believe in that shit. But iDid some research. And sadly its real. Believe it or not.

There’s a lot of official stuff I could quote. But that’ll just be boring. Don’t be upset if the post doesn’t live up to its Humor tag... I’m doing the best with what I’ve got.

So let’s see…

The main thing is we’re really destroying the earth in a bigger and more catastrophic way than anyone has ever imagined.

iMean, I’ve heard of concrete cities with hardly any green. And rivers whose pretty rainbow surfaces came from an oil leak upstream. Animals are becoming extinct right now. In my lifetime. Like WTF. Couldn’t you wait till iWas dead? Scratch that.

It’s a whole lot worse now cause of huge, worldwide climatic changes caused by us. All cause we wanna live a totally work free life.

Kids right here in Nigeria go to bed hungry every night. While other people get N50,000 haircuts.   Promote the general welfare? Please. 

Just a few weeks back. iWas driving [well not me] to Opebi. And there was this truck in front of us belching some awful black smoke. iThought we were gonna die. Scared the shit outta me.

Moving on.

People have cleared millions of forests in the name of industries. iMean clear a whole bunch of trees. No biggy. But a whole forest...  Like seriously. 

It leads to tons of topsoil washing away. Morons!  In order words loss of animals and plants, and increased fires and floods. Just by stuff people have made. Stupid cunts. Smh.

Well, we only have the one atmosphere! What do you plan to do when it’s destroyed?

Hold our breath till we get a new one? Kmt!

Nine of the ten hottest years ever recorded have happened in my lifetime. Tornadoes. Hurricanes. Typhoons. Droughts. Wildfires. Tsunamis. And I’m only seventeen.

We’re warming up the freaking planet and the planet’s ice is melting. If only fifty percent of the world’s ice melts, countless rivers and streams will overflow and then dry up.

The worst of worst is ocean water level will rise by... um a lot! Who wants to see the Eiffel Tower by canoe? That would be so epic. But alas, it's not two hundred years from now. Soon. Maybe within this lifetime. What a blast we would have.

We can’t reverse this fiasco. Well maybe the Justice League. But their fictional. Even if we all pitched in now and did everything we could, which, face it, we’re not going to do. A small percentage of us will do stuff, and other people will ignore the problem and hope they’ll be dead before it gets really bad.

 But there are things we can do that would at least help. It would make a difference.

Use compact fluorescent bulbs. If every house in Nigeria replaced just one of its regular light bulbs with a compact fluorescent, it would be like taking a million cars off the road. iMean, how hard is that?  Do the math.

Buy a hybrid car. You don’t have to have the nicest car to prove you’re the boss. Especially when it’s gonna kill ya. R.I.P Dagrin. Be like me. I’m just naturally awesome.

Plant a tree. It’ll only take what? About a year. Pfff. Big deal.

Right now Nigeria looks like a fat headed, shortsighted, gas-guzzling, arrogant blowhard to the rest of the world. Even Ghana looks all clean and tidy and progressive. No offence. But where’s our sense of pride?

I’m just one kid. And i'm not even a genius.

iWatch the world. Even just my own small part of it. Its been happening forever but not at this frequency.

Education might be a bitchAss. But I’ve sure learnt a lot.

To tell you the truth, I could go on and on. Buh den I’d b writing a novel. And I’m still struggling with one. x_x

Note: Most of this stuff was quoted indirectly by James Patterson. Love him tho  :)

Its’s strange. Half a second ago iDidn’t believe in this stuff. Now I’m dedicating a whole blog to it. I’m such a fucking BadAss.

A friend asked me. “What I’m iDoing to stop global warming?” iGuess naw iCould show him this and be like, “In ya face sucker!” :-D

Oh well, thats all iCan do to protect the Universe for today.

Boring. iKnow.

Spread the word. Global warming is real.

Caramel Kisses. Muah!

Hm hmm hmmmmm

Barney mode.

Suite up!

So here's the thing. Been working on a book for a while. Actually its been like a year now.

What?!

Its not my fault. School and all. And my co-writer [Tee] isn't even helping out anymore. pfff. So i'm stuck writing it alone. For now.

Bummer.

And believe me. writing a book isn't easy. Its not just about waking up one morning and deciding to write your bitch-ass life story. Please. What if people don't like it?

iGot inspired to write this book after iRead a scene from another young writers book. She was also struggling with hers. Funny thing is iCant find her anywhere anymore.

iActually started the book on my own. Then Tee got inspired by me to write hers. We both got stuck after just the first scene. lolz. But alas, we decided to combine our books. And now its looking awesome. Even in its incomplete state.

Don't worry its gonna be finished. Hopefully soon. Get your head out of your ass. You know what. Challenge accepted. By the end of this year. The book would be finished.

Sadly, we don't plan on publishing it. So iGot this totally awesome idea of  posting it up on my blog. What up. Worplay five.

Read our book.

                                Its gonna be legen -

                                      Wait for it...

                             Exercise some patience

                            Come on you can do better

                

  And iHope you're not lactose intolerant cause the second half of the word is 

                                    DARY! [dairy]

                                                                         

So now you guys would get a chance to see the full power of my awesomeness. 

True story.  

Caramel_Shinxx

Muah!

In other news...

So apparently theres a new Zodiac sign. And its called Ophiachus. Actually its not new. Ophiuchus has been a constellation for years and it just gets left out. It also happens to be my new sign. And iCant even pronounce it. Sigh.

So the story here's that. The moon's gravitational pull has slowly moved the Earth in its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment. Kinda makes you think about the end of the world.

iJust feel sorry for the people who've spent their whole lives happily smug with their star signs. And now they're hearing they've had the wrong star sign all along. iJust have one advice for them. Get over it! iKnow iHave.

Truth is iDon't even believe in that crap. To me its just b.s. No zodiac sign is gonna tell me how my day's gonna be. But then again. iLiked being an archer. T'was cool. Pouting.

You should see the suckers iHave to deal wit everyday on twitter. Funny thing is. iHavn't seen anyone announce their horoscope for today. 

But just for the fun of it. Let me tell you a short story about what this sign represents.

There was this guy. His name was Asclepius. He learned the secrets of keeping death at bay after observing one serpent bringing another healing herbs. 

Now Zeus doesn't like the human race very much so he killed him with a bolt of lightning to prevent the entire human race from becoming immortal under Asclepius' care. 

But he later placed his image in the heavens to honor his good works. Very humorous indeed.

It has also been noted that the constellation Ophiuchus is in close proximity in the sky to that of Sagittarius, which has at times been believed to represent Chiron (the mentor of Asclepius and many other Greek demigods), though Chiron was originally associated with the constellation Centaurus.

If you beleive this story. It means you are mentally retarded and you should see a shrink. Cause thats just one delusional interpretation. Now you see why iDon't believe in this stuff. iMean iLove Greek mythology. but to me its just some crappy old story the Greeks came up with to make sense of things.

Now that thats settled. Incase you dont kno your Zodiac sign anymore here's the new order.

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18 - May 13

Taurus: May 13 - June 21

Gemini: June 21 - July 20

Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

xoxo muah!

Bloggery

So i've got the sudden urge to blog today. Chimmy calls it "Blogger Blue Balls". 

Hillarious.

It's a pain in the blogsticles, due to prolonged and unsatisfied blogual excitement.

Her words exactly.

On with my life.

iWish iHad a husband. Hmmm strong word. Scratch that. 

iWish iLived with someone that loves... Still Strong.

You know what. iGive up. Basic thing is iWish someone iLike-like could bring me a bowl of food in bed. Cause i'm to lazy to walk to the kitchen to make my own meal.

iHadnt even noticed until a few minutes ago that iHaven't eatn all day. Due to my ill and unstable health. Or maybe ignorance. Food hasnt exactly been in my top five priorities lately. 

iGuess dats why i'm not healing as fast as usual. 

But my mum just made this amazing looking sauce. So now i'm laying in bed. Eatin *doesnt concern u*. And kay's happy. :)

Moving on.

So my day was a total drab.

On the plus side Jade and Dammy [besties] came to see me. We had some laughs. Received alot of insults. Yh, yh. Normal stuff. 

But they didn't even stay long. They had to leave me cause some guy was waiting for them in his ride.

And i'm like. You didn't even spend up to 15 minutes with me. And you're Ditching me for a total cunt. iMean who does that. Like what if iWas dieing! I'm not. But what if!

Aniwaiz i'm over that now.

Caramel_Shinxx

Goodnight. xx

Insomnia

Its 7:30am and i'm still up. Crap.

Cant sleep and iThink i'm gonna lose it. Kidding. But if iSee any sign of eye-bags, Someone's  gonna pay.

Due to my body's sudden reluctance to sleep. Thought i'd play a little song. Hope u like it. In other words. You better like it. :)

Btw. Use an ear-piece if u really wanna enjoy it. Just saying.

Dis is kaytshinxx saying Good morning/Good night.

xx Muah.

Hello? Cough. Is anyone out there??

I'm gonna pretend like there's somebody somewhere actually reading my blog. So here goes.

You're probably wondering why iHavn't been blogging lately. iKnow you missed me. sigh.

Well apparently i've been diagnosed with cough. You probably thought iWas gonna say something like malaria. Fever... Blah blah. But trust me. The kinda cough iGet is much worse than that.

If you see me in the afternoon u'd probably think, "heck it's almost gone," or "iBet she's only pretending."

But its there alright. Just waiting to devour me completely.

No jokes.

 Its like it only comes alive at night or really early in the morning. Which also proves my horror theory. But it hurts like shit. And every-time iCough it always leads to me vomiting something. Like how many people get that.

Seriously.

iTried to research on it but iWas literally compared to a DOG and asked to be taken to a VET.

Amusing.

iWould have asked my dad [he's a doctor] but you see. My dad has a very funny sense of humor. We both do actually. It involves laughing into peoples faces when they're in pain. Its not like we mean to. It just happens. And as fun as it is to laugh at other people. Its not exactly fun to be at the receiving end. so i'll pass.

Guess thats why the whole saying, *do unto others as you want others to do unto you* was commanded.

Lesson learned.

This is Kay Tanner Shinxx sayin... Good night.

xx cough. :)

Epiphany.

So i'm laying in my bed. Thinking about my life [something iSeem to do right before iGo to bed.]

And i'm thinking.

Every night. Right before iGo to bed. iSay a prayer. And its always the same prayer. Not exactly though.

And every night. iNever actually remember if iPrayed the night before. Very *place a word here* of me. iKnow. Sad.

Truth is. My hardest wish is to get closer to God. U'r probably wondering why iUsed the word "hardest" instead of some non-earthly word [ iWas gonna say absurd. Get over it] like holy. Well its cuz it's virtually the hardest thing to do besides bungee jumping. watching the one you love, love someone else. Lifting a... [never mind.]

Back to blogging.

Dont get me wrong. iWanna go to heaven. Everyone wants to go to heaven. Apart from some mentally deranged Antichrists that think hell's all about rap. rock. and babes. Take KMFDM for example. Pfff. Idiots!

Anyhoo.

iWas talking about umm. Yh. Hardest thing to do. Right.

Its not just about believing in Jesus  Christ or having faith. And hoping that some flaming chariot would come and carry you away. Pfff. You've gotta make some sacrifices too. Not talking about killing a goat or your first and only son.

No one truly knows when they're gonna die. It could be 50 years from now. May 2011. Or even after iPost this blog. God-forbid. *Snapping fingers.*

A few years back. My sister [iConsider her as my sister.] Tosin tried to scare Jade, Andrew [long story] and myself. Into giving ourselves to Christ by telling us a story about dis guy [lets call him Ace] who was always hammered  [not what you're thinking... Or maybe you weren't thinking that ...I've got a terrible mind.] by his pastor to give his life to Christ. And cause Ace wasn't ready. He postponed it to Friday that week. Guess what happened. He died right before Friday.

We still didn't budge. And we were still innocent children then.

Truth is everyone loves God. As iSaid some lines earlier, except for.... [you get.] But then they're also afraid to give up a lot of things.

Its not exactly easy to just smash down a building thats already half finished and start up from scratch all over again.

Have you got my metaphor?

If u haven't got it, you're mentally retarded and you need to exercise your brain more.

Moving on.

iRead a blog that said, "everyone cant avoid sin. But you could try to cut it down as much as possible". So what i'm gonna do is keep believing and hopefully one day i'd get there.

Truly from my heart. Shinxx

à la prochaine

HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Countdown to Disaster

Dear readers [if i have any] if you think i'm being bratty. Stuff it. Just kidding *wiink *wink.

Back to Blogging.

Boys. smh

iMean what is it with them and going for their ex-girlfriends or in my case ex-playmates bestfriend? iAsked Jade [my bestie] that question. And she was like, "maybe cause besties are usually alike." hmmmm.

You're probably wondering why iAsked her that question. Well apparently "that guy" iTold you about on Christmas eve decided he's had enough of me and went "back" to my bestie. In other words he tried to kiss her. Virtually in front of me.

iKnow what you're thinking. Bloody ASSHOLE right. Well iCould think of better words to describe him with but that'll take a while.

Btw. When iSay went back to my bestie, iDont mean they were dating before or anything. Ewwww. iCould never. It just means he tried but couldn't get her. What does that make me. Sigh. And i'm usually the sensible one.

Dont get me wrong i'm not jealous. Not even in the slightest bit. Matter of factly [ignore my english] iDont care that you went for another girl with a considerably larger package than iHave immediately it ended.  But my bestfriend. iMean WOW. Is your libido that restless? Dont answer that. Rolling eyes.

Ok maybe i'm overreacting since it was just a two-time thingy. But you dont have to be a fucking ASSWIPE about it. Show a girl some respect for crying out LOUD. Even though what iDid was'nt exactly respectful but everybody does it. Right. Pfffff *side eye*.

iMean its not like this feelings gonna last. iCan handle some pain. It takes a lot more than that to ruin Ms. Tanners emotions. Plsss.

So iSay *fuck it*. You can leave. iDont even need ya!

Oh. Yeah. I'm over it. Honestly.

Dont get me wrong. iDont hate you or anything. It's just that... well if you were on fire and iHad water. iWould probably drink the water. Jokes. iStill like you. As a person. iJust hate your male ego. At least now iKnow you better.

iBetter say goodnight before iStart rambling.

This is Kay saying, buenas noches.

xx

New Year Bliss

Its the first day of 2011 and theres still 364 days left to go.

Today didn't turn out how iExpected it to be.

In fact, it was way more than iExpected.

It started with me going to church with my fam (normal stuff)

We left arwnd 10pm last nightt and came back arwnd 1am dis mornin.

iImmediately called Tee and we both snuck out.

Funny enuff it wasnt really scary walkn ALONE on the STREET in the MIDNIGHT while KIDNAPPERS out dere ready to use us as DOG MEAT (sarcasm driping)

We tried scaring ourselves silly with scary stories and what-if's but we eventually got dere, safely

                                                                                                     

 Thank God.

We chased ourselves around with knockouts and blew some fireworks.

You wouldn't believe how much this guys spent on all this... smh

We eventually got to a safe place. By safe place iMean excellently dark with no adults watching

                                                                                                       

Splendid.

The remaining part of what happened is a wee bit exclusive... 

So not what u'r thinking.

iMean iMight be daring but i'm not that stupid. 

Please. 

Yeah, iWas caught up in d moment, but iBacked out when it was getting overboard.

All in all, we got back home about 3am with hardly anyone noticing.

                                                                                                        Phew.

All iHave to say is...

It's a new year. This means new thoughts, new ideas, new everything.

This is Caramel_Shinxx saying Goodbye. For now. Stay safe. Have fun. Happy New Year.

P.s; iGot that last part from someone XD